the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
