dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
