I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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