she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
