My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
