i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
false alarm. still invincible.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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