WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
