the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
