No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
