she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Bring me that man meat
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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