You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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