yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
