Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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