Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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