Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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