I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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