He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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