I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
