You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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