Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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