I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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