mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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