Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
