Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Couch. On fire.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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