By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
His nipple licking is glorious
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