where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
