Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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