whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
