It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
