There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
BRING THE BAGELS
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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