Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
