don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
