Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
