yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
