apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the day after is always just damage control
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
