if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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