the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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