it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
