that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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