Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
