In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
