I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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