beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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