THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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