She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize