Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
