She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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