Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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