i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
ttyl tear gas
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
