She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize