The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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