Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
are you so shy because you have an std?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
