Dual....:-)
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
