hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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