is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
