even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
