I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize
