If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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