yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
