So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize