one might say we're banned from that church
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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