its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
